Think about the power of words:

"Beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes clearly to the bone"  - A.B. Evans

"I did not attend his funeral; but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it"   - Mark Twain  

One of my favorite quotes:

"We shall not flag nor fail.  We shall go on to the end.  We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans; we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air. We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be; we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills. We shall never surrender"  - Winston Churchill

Such is the power of words - the power to rally a people against a power and evil as great as Adolf Hitler.  God has given us this tremendous resource of words, or as James puts it in the Bible, our tongue.  And it's ours to choose if we want to use it for purposes divine, or devastating.  The tongue is pure power!

If we allow the tongue to go unbridled, it becomes a consuming fire.  It can consume a church, destroy relationships, and fracture families.  I am sure that many of us can go through the Rolodex of our minds and recall many phrases that have been hurtful and helpful on our spiritual journey.  Controlling the tongue should underpin our desire to become more like Christ and to fulfill his amazing plan for our life. 

One crucial area in which to control our tongue is the all-too-familiar complaining attitude, which is a work of the tongue. God hates a complaining attitude.  Listen to what God says in Number 11:1-3:

"Now the people complained about their hardships in the hearing of the Lord, and when he heard them his anger was aroused. Then fire from the Lord burned among them and consumed some of the outskirts of the camp. When the people cried out to Moses, he prayed to the Lord and the fire died down. So that place was called Taberah, because fire from the Lord had burned among them."

Ouch! If we ever think that complaining is a mere small matter, think again. It's a big deal to God!

If you're wondering if you are a complainer, then you probably are.  Almost all of us struggle with it.  If you attract complainers, then you are probably a complainer, or at least guilty of feeding into the complaining.  Complaining is a sin and is destructive to our families, churches, and communities.  We must put a stop to it.

Why do we complain?  Complaining primarily satisfies our sinful nature.  Anything that is sin satisfies our sinful nature.  Never forget that our natural drift is always toward satisfying this nature.  Complaining serves to release emotional energy, and is just a very temporary fix for something that is bothering us.  The problem is exactly that - the satisfaction we receive is purely temporary and deflects from the core issue of our not wanting to be on the solution side of what we are complaining about.  In fact it enslaves us more by making us believe that we can do nothing about the situation we are complaining about.  Not true.  We choose our attitudes and we can either choose a complaining attitude that kills relationships, hinders the church, and is a sin against God, or we can choose to be on the solution side of things - transitioning from being a complainer to being a celebrator, and problem solver. 

Let's make sure we understand what complaining is, and what it's not.  Saying to your spouse, "We need to spend more time together," or commentating that stealing is wrong is not complaining.  Asking the waiter to return your steak dinner because it had some fuzz growing on it is not complaining.  That is expressing a legitimate problem. Complaining is saying:

 "I don't like the time of that group meeting. What are they thinking?" or "I don't like the music they play in church," or "My neighbor cuts his grass too long," or "How come they always get a new car and we don't?" or "Why do they get to have that kind of hair and my hair..." You get it. 

In addition to talking about something not wrong, complaining, as mentioned above, is a lack of desire to be on the solution side of things. A great question to ask yourself is: "How can I help in this situation?" or  "What can I do to remedy it?" Or, just admit that this is a preference issue and none of us gets his or her preferences all the time.  If I am not part of the solution and it is not something legitimately wrong, I need to just shut my mouth and not complain. 

I don't want to just complain about complainers. Let's get on the solution side of things and move forward by asking ourselves a few key questions:

1. Am I a complainer?  Ask God this question honestly.  This is often harder to see in ourselves than in others.  Let's stop making excuses such as, "I'm just letting off steam," and be honest with ourselves before God. 
2. Am I reaping the consequences of complaining in my relationship with God?  Remember that God is listening and desires to give us a joyful spirit to make our life purposeful.  How would our comments change if we remembered that God is ever-present?
3. Am I willing to confess and repent?  This means I am willing to turn from my attitude of complaining and acknowledge it as sin, and ask God to change my attitude and approach to dealing with struggles in my life. 

As we change our complaining attitudes we will see a freshness and intimacy in our friendships, in our families, and in our relationship with God.  Being around other Christ-followers will be both a joy and something we look forward to.  As Paul writes in Ephesians 4:29:

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

*A book that has been a help to me in this area and a good resource is Lord, Change my Attitude by James MacDonald*

On the Journey Together,

Rev. Jason Esposito,

Senior Pastor